


Ceaseless

by ludgerkresnik



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Growing Up, Introspection, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 20:58:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14985449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ludgerkresnik/pseuds/ludgerkresnik
Summary: Heracles reflects on life, and growing up. There was a time where life had felt endless, and where life had felt so much easier. He longs for his home in the small apartment that was filled with noise.





	Ceaseless

_ “Everything was easier then.” _

 

The ground his hard underneath him, but Heracles doesn’t mind that so much, even as the blades of grass gently tickle what exposed skin he has. The sky above him is a clear blue, save for a few birds who fly so smoothly across the sky and disappear into the horizon. These are the days, the moments, where he feels at ease with himself. There are no expectations out in the middle of nowhere, there’s no demanding bosses or ringing cell phones, no need to  _ keep up _ and constantly keep going. 

 

All he wants to do is just sleep, at least until his body stops feeling so weighed down and his heart not ache so much. There was a moment between childhood and adulthood where something inside of him stopped functioning properly, and Heracles isn’t sure  _ when _ that happened, but it did. Recently, things had started to go better, things had started to look up and then, it all crashed. It sent him spiraling down again, leaving him at the end of things. He  _ knew _ when he saw his previous girlfriend look away from him, unable to meet his gaze.

 

_ “I want to see other people.” _

 

It stabbed him in the heart, and he had gone home and laid in his bed for hours. He didn’t get out until his boss called him, to find out where the hell he is because he can’t just skip out on work and not say anything.

 

Heracles remembers a time when the world felt right. He was growing up in a neighborhood with kids like him, who were all forced to leave their home countries and live elsewhere because adults are selfish. There was a boy he lived next door to, he was wild and always getting into some sort of trouble. Three days after Heracles had moved in, the boy declared them best friends and Heracles went along with it.

 

As time passed, people moved out and others moved in. There was one kid in their apartment building his friend did not get along with. They were always bickering over something, and Heracles always wondered why. He never stepped in, and he never took sides. The kid his friend always fought with was nice when they were alone together, if not a little offstandish. They weren’t  _ friends _ by any means, but when his friend couldn’t play, they chose to hang around with each other.

 

School was easy for him, he excelled at all his math and science classes. His friend wasn’t in his class, but they shared lunch and recess together, so it was alright. They both joined a sports team together, but Heracles would rather be part of choir or a theater class more than run around on a field to chase after some ball.

 

Sometime in junior high, his friend group extended from his neighbor to more people. His friend, unlike him, was an extrovert. He was always talking to people, and it was  _ enviable.  _ By high school, Heracles had a group of friends he could rely on.

 

There are instances, he remembers, that he didn’t quite grasp then and he’s not sure why. He remembers watching as his friend helped his cousin move in. His friend’s cousin was quiet, slouched and head down. He catches a glimpse of a healing bruise, and there was absolute silence from the adults about it. Even his friend wouldn’t say why, and would avoid all questions about it.

 

And he remembers a hot evening, somewhere between ending junior high and entering high school, his friend was sleeping over. They were both a little drunk because they broke into his parents’ liquor cabinet, and when Heracles was somewhere half between asleep and awake, he felt his friends lips touch against his briefly. And he remembers wishing for more.

 

That moment on, it was never mentioned.

 

While his friend joined a sports club, Heracles chose drama club. Some of their classes mixed together, and so did their lunches. High school was great with him around, and there were nights where some of them would all sneak out and meet up somewhere. Sometimes, they’d get drunk, sometimes, they’d dabble in drugs but things were  _ okay _ . Heracles always felt at ease. His friends cousin didn’t really open up to any of them, but that was fine by everyone else. Somehow, though, he got himself a girlfriend from another school.

 

When Heracles was about sixteen or seventeen, he watched as the boy from upstairs leaves with just a bag over his shoulder. After that, he barely saw him around the school.

 

Graduation came, and went, and they all dispersed to different colleges. What was frequent contact became sparse, simple holiday greetings and the occasional message on social media. He doesn’t know what happened to his friend, all contact, for some reason, ceased. What had been a voice he looked forward to hearing, and a presence that always made him happy, disappeared. Heracles wondered if he had imagined him, because he couldn’t even find him online.

 

Heracles shuts his eyes, tightly. He wills for time to pause momentarily, he wills for the peace he feels right now to remain before life calls him back. He wishes for childhood again, where he could come home to mom’s fresh cooking and the noisy apartment. Life was endless and ceaseless, then.

 

Something nudges his head, and Heracles opens his eyes. Familiar eyes peer down at him, a wicked grin on the person’s face.

 

The person picks up the ball. “Wanna play?”

 

He’s quick to get up.


End file.
